An (Un)Intended Confession...

Dear Kak Long,

I don't really know how to tell you this, I'm in love with your cat. I think I realized it when i saw the purple monkey in your closet and I saw you pull the pants off of the elephant in the corner. I'm sure you're scared enough to understand how awful you are. I'm returning your false teeth to you, but I'll keep your glass eye as a memory. You should also know that I will not tell the authorities that you stole the whale from the backyard and you ruined my attempts at another world war.

Go drown yourself,
~Lil' Munchkin~





>-----------------<
Here's how you do it:

Dear (someone you recently talked to),

I don't really know how to tell you this, (1). I think I realized it (2)(3) and I saw you (4)(5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning your (8) to you, but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11).

(12),
Name


1) What's the color of your shirt?
Blue - I'm in love with your cat
Red - Our affair is over
White - I’m joining the Convent
Black -Our romance is over
Green- Our socks don't match
Grey - You're a leprechaun
Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - Purple hedgehogs want to destroy you
Other -I dislike your eyelashes

2) Which is your birth month?
January - That night you picked your nose
February -When I quoted Forrest Gump
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on peanut butter
May - When I threw up in your sock drawer
June - When you put cuffs on me
July – When I saw the purple monkey
August - When you smacked my ass
September - Last year when you peed your pants
October - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
November - When your dog humped my leg
December - When I finally changed my underwear

3) Which food do you prefer?
Tacos - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
Chicken- In your car
Pasta - Outside of your office
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad – As you were eating Kraft Dinner
Lasagna - In your closet
Kebab - With Jean Chrétien
Fish - In a clown suit
Sandwiches - At the Elton John concert
Pizza - At the mental hospital
Hot dog - Under a street light
Annat- With George Bush and Stephen Harper

4) What's the color of your socks?
Yellow - Ignore
Red - Put whipped cream on
Black - Hit on
Blue - Knock out
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - bit of
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the pants off of
Barefoot - Sit onOther - Drive over

5) What's the color of your underwear?
Black - My boyfriend
White - My father
Grey – The Catholic Priest
Brown – The Montreal Canadian’s goalie
Purple - My corned beef hash
Red – My knee caps
Blue - My salt-beef bucket
Yellow - My illegitimate child in Ghana
Orange - My Blink 182 cd
Pink – Your ‘My Little Pony’ collection
Other --The elephant in the corner

6) What do you prefer to watch on TV?
One Tree Hill - Senile
Heroes- Frostbitten
Lost - High
Simpsons- Cowardly
The news - Scarred
American Idol - Masochistic
Family Guy - Open
Top Model - Middle-class
Annat -shamed7) Your mood right now?
Happy - How awful you are
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That I get turned on only by garbage men
Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
Depressed – That we’re related
Excited - That I may pee my pants
Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried - That your Ford sucks
Apathetic - That you need a sex-change
Silly - That I'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - That Santa doesn't exist
Ashamed - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid
Other - That your driving sucks

8) What's the color of your walls in your bedroom?
White - Your toe ring
Yellow - Your love letters to me
Red - The pictures from Vegas
Black - Your pet rock
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - Your car
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your nose hair clippers
Grey - Our matching snoopy underwear
Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your Hannah Montana underwear

9) The first letter of your first name?
A/B - My virginity
C/D - Your photo with the moustache drawn on it
E/F - Your neighbors dogG/H - The oil tank from your car
I/J - Your left ear
K/L - The results of that blood-sample
M/N - Your glass eye
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X – Your sucide note
Y/Z - Your credit cards

10) The last letter in your last name?
A/B -Your glass eye
C/D - Always will remember the pep talks
E/F -Never will forget that night
G/H – Will not tell the authorites that you stole the whale from the backyard.
I/J – Mocked you behind your back constantly
K/L - Hate your cooking
M/N - Told in my confession today about the moose poaching
O/P - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises
Q/R - Always wanted to break your legs
S/T - Get sick when I think of your feet
U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart
W/X - Haven’t showered in a month
Y/Z – am better off without you

11) What do you prefer to drink?
Wine- Our friendship is ruined
Soft drink – I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon
Soda – I will haunt you when I’m reincarnated as an Eskimo
Milk - The apartment building is on fire
Water – I'm scratching my butt as you read this
Cider– I have a passionate interest for miceJuice – You ruined my attempts at another world war
Mineral/Vitamin water – You should get that embarrassing rash checked
Hot chocolate – Your Cucumber-fetishism is weird
Whiskey - I love Oprah Winfrey
Beer – Thanks for the Cocaine
Other – you should stop picking your nose

12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vacation?
Thailand – Warm tingly sensations
Australia - Best of luck on the sex change
France - Love always
Spain - With tears of sadness
China – You make me sick
Germany – Please don’t hurt me
Japan - Go milk a cow
Greece - Your everlasting enemy
USA - Greetings to your frog Leonard
Egypt – Kiss my butt
England - Go drown yourself.


lil'munchkin: Try it. Create your own letter. It's FUN! ;)

ER? DR. House? Scrubs? Grey's Anatomy?

Semalam balik lewat dari biasa.

Ada meeting.

Sampai rumah pukul 5.

(Ya. Pukul 5 boleh dikira lewat dalam konteks kehidupan aku, sebab lumrah kerja aku tamat sekitar pukul 1.15. Hari Rabu ngan Khamis lagik la…balik pukul 12.45! Sebab tu ramai pekerja dari sektor lain iri hati dengan orang macam aku).

Aku gelak guling-guling bila ada orang pertikaikan waktu kerja orang macam aku ni. Terus-terang aku katakan, walaupun kerja macam aku ni secara durasinya tamat awal, tapi secara faktanya, orang yang kerja macam aku bekerja 24 jam sehari, 7 hari seminggu! Tapi, bagi orang yang bekerja seprofession dengan aku, kami tak merungut. Target kami hanya satu; untuk hasilkan generasi berilmu. Kami konsisten. Betul. Aku tak tipu.

Baru-baru ni, negara heboh dengan waktu kerja doktor. Aku nak flashback balik pun tak guna, sebab aku yakin, semua orang tahu apa intipati yang dibangkitkan oleh golongan ni tentang waktu kerja mereka. Kenapa sekarang para doktor sibuk mengatakan hak mereka sebagai pekerja, dan sebagai manusia telah diragut? Aku hairan. Seriously. I don’t get it.

Bila mula-mula isu ni keluar, aku sendiri pun konfius; siapa yang meragut, siapa yang diragut, dan siapa pula yang jadi peragut (dan mungkin ada yang teragut). Konfius…konfius…

Tapi, semakin lama aku mendalami isu ni, semakin aku mendapat pencerahan.

Pokok pangkalnya, aku rasa para doktor sekarang dah tak macam doktor zaman dulu-dulu lagi. Kalau dulu, doktor merupakan golongan yang sangat tough dari segi intelek, emosi, rohani dan jasmani serta mempunyai pegangan yang teguh dan utuh untuk berkhidmat kepada orang yang memerlukan; dengan ikhlas dan adil. Sekarang benda ni semua dah semakin susut nilainya dalam diri seseorang yang berpangkalkan ‘DR’ di depan nama mereka.

Kalau dulu, course medicine memang course yang eksklusif. Cuma calon-calon yang betul-betul crème de la crème je mampu untuk bergelar medic student. Universiti-universiti yang terpilih untuk kendalikan kursus ni pun, tertumpu kepada universiti yang telah terbukti cemerlang dalam track recordnya. Sekarang, aspek ni dah semakin terhakis, atau lebih tepat, dah semakin tidak boleh digunapakai.

Perumpamaan yang mudah, aku bagi dalam konteks perdagangan. Andaikan student medic sebagai input barangan. Universiti sebagai kilang pemprosesan. Kalau input barangan terdiri daripada barang-barang yang berkuali tinggi, dan diproses pula dalam kilang pemprosesan yang hebat dan mantap, pasti output barangan yang terhasil mencapai mutu optimum. Dan inilah senario yang terjadi beberapa dekad yang lepas.

Tapi sekarang, application nak masuk medic school dah semakin senang. Siapa-siapa yang berkemampuan, berkeluargakan keluarga orang kaya-kaya, boleh (dengan senang) menjadi pelajar perubatan. IPTS yang tawar kursus medic pun dah melambak-lambak. Tak cukup yang kat overseas, yang local pun dah sama naik! Hakikatnya, mereka semua berorientasikan wang, daripada kapabiliti, kredibiliti dan abiliti untuk bergelar pelajar perubatan; atau dalam bahasa ‘halus’, mereka sebenarnya tak layak pun nak amik medic!

Ok, mungkin aku sinikal dalam hal ni.

Aku tak nafikan, bukan semua doktor sekarang macam ni., masih wujud golongan tabib yang cemerlang, gemilang dan terbilang (walaupun dalam skala yang kecil).

Aku tahu dan aku sedar entri aku akan mengundang masalah.

Mungkin ada yang tak berpuas hati. Ada yang makan hati. Ada yang sakit hati.

(dan mungkin ada yang tawar hati).

Tapi, ni lah keadaan yang sebenar dan sebetulnyanya.

Aku bukan anti para doktor.

Aku suka doktor.

Aku admire doktor.

Aku salute doktor.

Saudara aku ramai yang jadi doktor.

Adik aku pun, bakal mengikuti kursus doktor. (Insya Allah...)

Kawan baik aku zaman hingusan pun, sekarang dah jadi doktor.

Kawan sekolah rendah aku pulak tengah belajar kursus doktor kat Ukraine. ^_^

Kawan sekolah menengah pun, ada yang tengah jadi pelajar doktor; tahun akhir.

‘TemanTapiMesra’ aku masa bergelar pelajar UM dulu pun, pelajar kursus doktor…(twins pulak tu…dua-dua doktor!)

Hidup aku dikelilingi oleh para doktor.

Masa aku ajar student aku pasal topik ‘Occupations’; aku selalu bias bagi fakta yang best-best pasal kerjaya doktor.

Aku kata. “Doctor is a noble job. They help people in needs. They’re just like Superman…saving people”.

(Ya. Aku seorang guru BI, bukan doktor.)

Students aku melopong dengar kata-kata ‘retorik’ aku.

Namun, disebabkan ‘autar’ aku tu, 38/40 students aku nak jadi doktor bila besar nanti. (baki yang lagi 2 tu pun, tak datang time aku buat gundalan. Kalau mereka datang, harus 40/40 students aku jadik doktor!)

Aku tak kesal. Malah, aku galak cita-cita mereka. Aku bawak stetoskop; dari bilik kesihatan – bagi student aku try. Mereka teruja tahap maksima. Comel.

Jadi, kesimpulannya, tiada sebab kenapa aku anti doktor.

Bila aku sakit, aku pegi jumpa doktor. Aku tak jumpa dukun. Apa lagi jumpa bomoh.

Sebab tu aku pro doktor.

Cuma, aku terpanggil untuk buat entri ni lepas aku rasa para doktor sekarang dah leka.

Dah hilang daya tumpuan.

Dah hilang fokus utama.

Dah kurang tahap kesedaran.

Dah hanyut dalam arus ke-glamour-an.

Aku tak sanggup melihat para doktor dikecam, dihina, dicaci kerana sikap mereka yang sudah tiada nilai estatika seorang doktor.

Aku tak sanggup melihat pesakit menderita bukan sahaja kerana penyakit yang dihidapi, tetapi ditambah dengan ‘penyakit’ doktor yang merawat; yang mana sudah hilang akal, norma dan adab sopan.

Aku tak sanggup membayangkan betapa masyarakat sekarang kecewa dengan sikap doktor.

Moralnya, aku rasa kita semua kena saling hormat-menghormati.

Pesakit hormat kat doktor.

Doktor pun kena (bertambah-tambah la) hormat pesakit.

Kena ingat, tiada pesakit, maka tiadalah doktor.

(Dan tiada manusia tanpa guru. Sungguh. Ini fakta).

Hidup ni sementara.

Hidup mesti berbudi.

Hidup mesti berbakti.

Hidup akan diberkati.

Hidup menuju mati.

~Look. Read. Listen. Judge~

:)

FAKTA KENYATAAN : Mandat yang dipertanggungjawabkan untuk menjadi jurulatih pasukan hoki sekolah.


Referensi......


1) Tidak pernah berminat dengan sukan hoki.


2) Tidak pernah berniat untuk memegang (apatah lagi bermain-main) dengan kayu hoki dan bola bulatnya (info:secara lahiriah, tiada perbezaan antara bola hoki dan peluru shotput).


3) Tidak pernah mengenali, mahupun berinisiatif untuk mengenali mana-mana pemain hoki.


4) Tidak pernah terbayang, mahupun bermimpi untuk berjinak-jinak dengan sukan hoki.


5) Tidak pernah menonton mana-mana perlawanan hoki.


6) Tidak pernah mengetahui segala undang-undang dan peraturan sukan hoki.


7) Tidak pernah mengetahui teknik, taktik hoki.


8) Tidak pernah terfikir dan terbayang untuk mengetuai pasukan hoki.


9) Tidak pernah terlintas untuk berasa teruja menyokong perlawanan hoki.


10) Tidak pernah tertulis di dalam kamus hidup; pengertian 'hoki'.




Realiti....


Dengan segala mandat yang telah diperturunkan, sebagai seorang penjawat jawatan awam yang memegang tagline "saya yang menurut perintah", ku gagahi juga segala keringat dan kudrat yang ada untuk memahami seterusnya menyintai sukan hoki ini.

Dan berbekalkan segala instant knowledge yang diperolehi, ku perturunkan segala ilmu berkesan berkaitan sukan hoki ini kepada anak buah ku.

Walaupun jangka masa latihan terlampau singkat, namun, ku guna segala ruang dan masa rehat selepas bekerja ku untuk melatih anak buah ku.

DAN....




Benarlah kata bidalan, 'alang-alang menyeluk pekasam, biar sampai ke pangkal lengan'.





PASUKAN HOKI, DI BAWAH SELIAAN KU TELAH BERJAYA MENJADI JOHAN!



MEMBANGGAKAN!
MENGHARUKAN!
MENGHIBAKAN!
MENGGEMBIRAKAN!


MENAKJUBKAN!!!!!!!






*Kini, ku telah dilantik oleh PPD Marang untuk menjadi jurulatih hoki pasukan daerah...
(adakah ini suratan atau keajaiban??????....)

What is Culture?

The word culture has many different meanings. For example, we sometimes say that the people who know about art, music, and literature are cultured. However, according to the recent book I’ve read, Anthropologists 101, the word culture means all the ways in which a group of people act, dress, think and feel. People have to learn the cultural ways of their community; they are not something that the people in the group are born with.

Instinctive behavior, on the other hand, is a pattern of behavior that an animal is born with. Spiders spinning their webs are examples of instinctive behavior. The mother spider does not teach her babies how to spin webs. (In fact, she is not even there when they are born!) They know how to do it when they are born. This is what we mean instinctive behavior. Baby birds will instinctively run away if a cardboard shape of a hawk is moved forwards over their heads. However, they do not run if the cardboard shape is moved backwards. Hawks do not fly backwards, so the baby birds’ instinct does not tell them that there is any danger. Their instinct is quite specific: The shape of the hawk must be moving in the correct direction.

As humans, we learn some of the ways of our culture by being taught by out teachers or parents. We learn more of the ways of our culture by growing up in it. We see how other people in our culture do things, and we do them the same way. We even learn how to think and feel in this way.

All human beings have certain basic needs, such as eating, drinking, keeping warm and dry, and so on. However, the way in which they take care of these needs depends on the culture in which they grow up. All cultures have ways of eating, drinking, dressing, finding shelter, marrying, and dealing with death. The foods that we think are good to eat, the kinds of clothes we wear, and how many people we can marry at one time are all parts of our culture.

Our own culture seems very natural for us. We feel in our hearts that the way that we do things is the only right way to do them. Other people’s cultures often make us laugh or feel disgusted or shocked. We may laugh at clothing that seems ridiculous to us. Many people think that eating octopus or a juicy piece of roast beef is disgusting. The idea that a man can have more than one wife or that brothers and sisters can marry each other may shock other cultures.

Ideas of what is beautiful differ from one culture to another. The flathead Indians of North America used to bind the heads of babies between boards so they would have long sloping foreheads. In the Flathead culture, long sloping forehead were beautiful. Other cultures might think that they are strange-looking and unattractive. A tribe of Peruvian Indians shaped their children’s skull into tall, narrow, domes. The Chinese used to bind women’s feet because they regarded small feet as beautiful. (These small feet were also a sign that the husband was wealthy. Because the woman could not walk very well, they could not do much housework, and so the small feet showed that the husband could afford to have many servants.) Many people put scars into their bodies or tattoo themselves so that others in the culture will think that they are beautiful. Objects are inserted in holes in the nose, lips, and ears in a number of different cultures. In many twentieth-century societies, rouge, lipstick, eye shadow, perfume, and hair spray are all used to increase attractiveness.

When people die, different cultures dispose of their bodies in different ways. Sometimes bodies are burned. Sometimes bodies are buried in the ground. In many cultures in he past, people were buried with food, weapons, jewelry, and other things that might be useful in the next life. For example, the ancient Egyptians buried people with little human figures made from clay. These clay figures were supposed to work for the dead person in the other world. A religious group called the Parsees exposed their dead on platforms for birds to eat. Some people practice a second burial. After the bodies have been in the earth for several years, the bones are dug up and reburied, sometimes in a smaller container.

These are just a few of the many different customs that are found in different cultures. Most of the times, the different ways that are the customs of different cultures are neither right nor wrong. It is simply that different people do the same things in different ways.

What madness has taken hold of society?

FILIAL piety used to be one of the main virtues in our Asian culture. However, it is sad to say that in our modern society, respect and love for our elderly parents is slowly decreasing.

I’ve heard of countless incidences where an ailing parents is left by his or her children to suffer alone in a government hospital.

And what about the old folks who stand by the entrances of nursing homes, waiting for their children to take them home.

How it is possible that any child can be as ungrateful and inhumane as to leave his or her parent to such a fate, without a second thought?

In this era, not only are the elderly abandoned, but young children, too. Numerous reports of the discovery of babies in rubbish heaps or stuffed in a duffel bag and left on a bench make me shake my head in sadness.

To a lesser extent, I hear of young parents who leave their children to the care of babysitters for several days and only visit their children on weekends. They are ready to devote their lives to work and ambition while their family’s welfare takes a backseat.

More and more, families are breaking up with divorce rates soaring not just in the West but in Asian society as well. The sacredness of marriage has been tarnished and the vow “till death do us part” carries no weight.

Lust has replaced love in these days where people seek only to satisfy their selfish desires and are willing to work towards building strong and stable relationships.

What kind of madness has taken over society?

I hope we will never live to see the day when the word ‘family’ becomes obsolete, and when joy and happiness in a household becomes a distant dream.

I JUST HATE BEING TAGGED! :)

Rules: Once you’ve been tagged, you are to answer all the questions about you. At the end, you have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it’s because I want to know more about you (kind of).

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
~nuh.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
~cudn't really remember...(i'm a very 'hardcore' type, believe me).

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
~yes. -neat and nice.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE LUNCH MEAT?
~i'm a veggie.

5. DO YOU HAVE KIDS?
~figuratively no...literally yes.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
~definitely! hoho.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
~rarely...most of the time, i just shoot. (honesty is the best policy...)

8. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
~yes.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
~too risky. no.

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE CEREAL?
~Post's nuts and raisin. YUMMY!

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
~nuh. waste of time.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE ICE CREAM?
~strawberry. peach melba by BR oso taste good.

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
~personality.

15. RED OR PINK?
~neither.

16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVOURITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
~i'm too good.

17. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
~having lunch at UM's KPS cafe...i dunno why....

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST?
~it's their choce...cummon it's democracy. duh!

19. WHAT COLOUR OF PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
~lilac

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
~too busy to enjoy music, recently.

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOUR WOULD YOU BE?
~white.

23. FAVOURITE SMELLS?
~musky.

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
~erm... Ms Zulizanizan.

25. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
~hate her!!!!! hahaha!

26. FAVOURITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
~sport??!??

27. HAIR COLOUR?
~black.

28. EYE COLOUR?
~dark brown.

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
~nope. 6/6.

30.FAVOURITE FOOD?
~hmm...lotsa!

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
~happy movee scarry ending's sounds good. haks!

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
~can't remember.

33. WHAT COLOUR OF SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
~gray.

34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
~summer.

35. HUGS OR KISSES?
~both.

36. FAVOURITE DESSERT?
~ice cream!

37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
~sweet. (eyew!)

38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
~pervert.

39.WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING?
p/s i love you, by cecelia ahern.

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
~dun care.

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?
~prime news.

42. FAVOURITE SOUND(S)?
~clicking sounds of the keyboard.

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
~beatles.

44. WHERE IS THE FURTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
~far, far way.

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
~i guess.

46. WHERE WERE YOU BORN?
~HBSA, JB.

47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO GETTING BACK?
~no one. (hate tags!)

*i've been tagged by someone. god, save me.....